6 Ways to See In Yourself What You Cannot See

Seeing Ourselves As We Really Are

About 20 years ago, while browsing a Greek grammar book (of all things!?!), I ran across this sentence. I’ve never forgotten it. “We cannot see our own faults, not because they are small but because they are characteristic.”

Let me explain. The inner problems you need to defeat blind you so you can’t see the inner problems that defeat you. Does that clear it up? Probably not.

Let me try again. You can’t see yourself as you really are. Everyone else can see that you’re a biatch (pardon my French) but you’re blind to it. You alienate people but think it’s their problem. You think you’re OK because you can’t see what’s wrong with you. And, you can’t see what’s wrong with you because it’s so much a part of who you are.

To Rationalize or Not? 

You might rationalize and say,”That’s just how I am. People will just have to accept me as I am.” Or, “I’m Irish/Black/a New Yorker/poor/hurt/married/handicapped or a Harvey (insert your family name) and that’s just who we are. Like it or leave it!”

Are you sick of rationalizing and tired of “being who I am?” Are you ready to do something about it? Here are some ways to discover what you can’t see:

  1. Find a spiritual friend who loves you, knows your heart and will be honest with you. This is a tall order. These kinds of friends are few and far between. Begin by praying for one.
  2. Develop a relationship with a spiritual father or mother whom you respect and to whom you will honestly listen. Discover with them who you are inside.
  3. If your marriage is strong, talk with your spouse about these blind spots. Be prepared to accept what you hear.
  4. Talk with a spiritual director. This person will help you explore what God is bringing to light in your life.
  5. Find a trustworthy psychologist to help you discover issues in you which you can’t see yourself.
  6. Sit with the Triune God in solitude and submit to open heart surgery. Humbly pray for God to give light to your darkened heart. Listen intently when He messes with your perceptions about yourself. Open the scriptures, not to study them, but for them to study you. Allow them, by the grace of the Holy Spirit, to point out areas of your life you can’t see.

Of course, with all the above, you must do something about the information you receive. Hearing is only the first step. Ask the Holy Spirit for guidance in what to do. Contact me and I’ll try to help.

Are you ready to see what you can’t see now? Share below your thoughts and/or struggles with this idea.

Dr. K

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

2 thoughts on “6 Ways to See In Yourself What You Cannot See

  1. No one who hears a recording thinks that they sound like the voice coming through the speakers. Likewise, we never see ourselves as clearly as others and God sees us.

    • Thanks Treestand! I’ve actually had that experience of listening to myself. Don’t like what I hear. If I wanted to sound better, I need others to help me. Then I need a strong dose of humility to accept what I’m told. That’s usually where things get bottle-necked. Thanks for engaging! Good to have you on the journey with us. Thanks be to God for all things! Dr. K

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